life of sort taken from cooking : good quality ingredients, a little patience, and lots of love 

BA BA BA BABANANA BA BA BA BABANANA NA NA NA AHH POTATO NA AH AH BANANA AH AH TO GA LI NO PO TA TO NI GA NI BA LO BA NI KA NO JI GA~ BA BA BA BABANANA. YO PLANO HU LA PA NO NO TU MA BANANA LIKE A NUPI TALAMO BANANA BA BA POTATO HO HOOOOOO TO GA LI NO PO TA TO NI GA NI BA LO BA NI KA NO JI GA BA BA BA BABANANAAAAAAAAA   :"}

"Maybe that's what life is... a wink of the eye and winking stars"  -jack kerouac

tried to find what is important and found this instead:
ask:
what do i want
what must i do to have it
how would i feel when i have it 
so, what i really want is to feel -
i am part of something / feel like i belong somewhere in this world 

you wont let me

dealbreaker ||rachael yamagata 

susan sontag

-do stuff

be clenched, curious

not waiting for inspiration's shove

or society's kiss on your forehead

-pay attention

it's all about paying attenion

attention is vitality

it connects you with others

it makes you eager

-stay eager 

"There's only one thing that I know how to do well, and I've often been told that you only can do what you know how to do well, and that's be you. Be what you're like. Be like yourself."
They Might Be Giants "Whistling in the Dark"

somebody that i used to know -gotye

Instructions for Life

These statements were falsely attributed to the Dalai Lama in an email hoax. They actually derive from advice in Life's Little Instruction Book: 511 suggestions, observations, and reminders on how to live a happy and rewarding life (1991) by H. Jackson Brown, Jr; More information is available on the hoax at Snopes.com

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, Respect for others and Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
13. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
14. Be gentle with the earth.
15. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
16. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
17. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
18. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

the cursor stopped after i typed -tell me 

so tell me 

what can you tell me 

tell me why i feel like crying 

tell me why i feel what i feel now

tell me

just say it 

will you?

why you at a party if you are sad
why you eat if you are not hungry
why you try to sleep if you can't sleep
why you still breathing if you are already dead inside
nahh, i didn't mean it

"...equality is not necessarily a requirement in a relationship and said, "The heart wants what it wants. There's no logic to those things. You meet someone and you fall in love and that's that."

woody allen

"i'm not a big believer in Fate, in the cosmic plan kind of way. i believe that life throws things your way and that how you decide to act on these things creates your fate. our fates lie in the shaping and focus of these random things that happen to us so that sometimes a seemingly random chain of events brings you to a place that you never thought you'd be and you realize it's not so random at all."

localtime

when i look up in the sky, i see a few clouds and airplanes going in the slow motion. i raise my right arm trying to catch the plane. then i hold my hand really tight close to my heart thinking that one day, i'll be on the plane with that someone flying to a place where we are happy

 

RAdio Tokyo airspace

note to self:

you and mike were in my dream on your bday! bizarre. thanks for the weird funny dream. i was able to wake up with a smile. lets see if you guys go to vietnam for the honey moon like my dream. prolly not is not probably not. keke

is it possible that i just become a sleep walker in my late 30's? sometimes i woke up with sore butt, aching back and bruise on my arms and legs. weird weird

"The American way of life is spontaneously fictional, since it is the transcending of the imaginary in reality."

Jean Baudrillard

If no one else will say it, I say it here: You are loved and you are beautiful.

A:what have you been up to?
B: (thinking quietly) what you want to know? ha nvm

"What you want to do is be easy for one person to get and hard for everyone else, which will increase the likelihood of that one person's liking you" making sense or not really ah

i stick a pencil in my nose. it falls off when i blow my nose. i wish sometimes things could be like that, let loose easily.

found:
a friend once told me that when your 30 your also 29 and 28 and 21 and.. 2, and 1. that we grow like onions, each year another layer. and so when we mature, our youth is still inborn and that living like a 6 year old never fails to be amazing -zack jiang

Several Shades of Why

how do you write about a really excellent day that isn’t excellent because amazing things happened, it’s just excellent because of who you spent it with?
} spiffae

where is my ladder?
i am still looking for my ladder
where is my ladder to earth?
oh i forgot i actually living on earth
where is my ladder to heaven?
no, my time is not here yet
where is my ladder to getting there?
where is there?
what attracts me there?
what can i find there?
there, where are you?
look over here
i am here

i wanna get a hat so i can cover my gray hair

they are lik e new borns

keep coming out

excited to se the world

people like you walk into my life

happy to be born on this day, maybe

Replace fear of the unknown with curiosity -sergejbraun
"Just because you're different, you're no worse or better. You are just different and being different is something wonderful which defines us as human beings." Sabine Kuegler

we gather our ideas to put them into words,” and if our words aren’t empty or hollow, we might get these ideas across to a listener, who can unpack our words to extract their content. This kind of verbiage is not the exception, but the rule
} steve pinker

The model is not to be copied, but to be realized. Count on big lines to express your ideas. Get the few main lines and see what lines they call out. It takes wit, interest and energy to be happy. The pursuit of happiness is a great activity. One must be open and alive. It is the greatest feat man has to accomplish, and spirits must flow. (Robert Henri)

feed me

light light light light light light light light light light light make it light keep it light make a light
string string string string string string string string string string is not made of few dots. maybe its more than that or not period

when i close my eyes when i see you when i close my eyes when i see images when i close my eyes when i see chairs when i close my eyes when i see graffitis when i close my eyes when i see lights when i close my eyes when i see abstract pictures when i close my eyes when i can't picture anything in my head sometimes i got scared of what i see when i close my eyes when i close my eyes i see images sometimes i got scared of what i saw when i close my eyes i see strange images i got scared when i close my eyes and want to open my eyes right away because sometimes i got scared when i close my eyes

how much longer - i will wake up in a clear mind
how much longer - i will see a clear picture of what future is like
how much longer - i will have to wait for our next meet
how much longer - i will stop feeling confused about ..
how much longer - i will re-gain :: re-learn :: return
} sleepy afternoon

there's always a moment that i desperate want to talk to someone but anit got so much luck. emo eating out on me when it happens. i think i can do better. i wish i can do better. and i really want to do better. help yourself first then god will take care of the rest? yeh yeh. mom i am sorry i wish i can help

if you accept the pain, it cannot hurt you
the world is changing, put the hours in
meaning scales, people don't

} hugh macleod -ignore everybody

i finished the whole bag of cheese crunches last night and i feel really bad about it
wonder why i can't stop once i start
amen

could someone tell my mom everything is gonna be alright and i am going to be okay too? pls

happiness?

s: i wish people used the word HAPPY the way they do in Russia.

me: how do they use it in Russia?

s: the word for Happiness is… well, it means something else.

me: can you explain?

s: it implies that you have a piece of something that’s fleeting.
you may catch it, or it may leave you…you may be with it, literally,
or ask it to stay with you, and there are many songs on that,
or it may choose to leave you
you can find it, but it may leave.
and so on.
a more advanced notion of the term would be
it’s in motion
so…
dynamic tranquility is probably best to describe it.

“dynamic tranquility.” that’s lovely.

via}

it's down time again. my fingers, my arms, my knees, especially my head. feel sorry, still worry. may merry come to everyone's door way. merry xmas

"You know I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me then you know you're one of them."

‘Art is fundamentally a survival device of the species. Otherwise it wouldn’t be so persistent. It wouldn’t be in every culture. We wouldn’t know about it…

How does art help you survive? It helps us survive by making us attentive. In a simplistic way, when you go past a forest and you look at it and you say, ‘that looks just like Cézanne.’ And you realize Cézanne has made you see the reality of the forest in a way that you never could have seen before. He’s made you attentive. Every work of art that you care about makes us attentive.’ Milton Glaser

}

Types of People I enjoy-

All with open hearts and open minds towards others and life. There is little fun being around clones of oneself.

} Eric deWayne valentine

“Wisdom tells me I am nothing,
Love tells me I am everything,
Somewhere in between
my life flows.” - Shinzen Young

i don't know if
'i miss you' means something

sab kuch aacha hai

What happens between us
has happened for centuries
we know it from literature

still it happens

there are books that describe all this
and yet they are useless

You walk into the woods behind a house
there in that country
you find a temple
built eighteen hundred years ago
you enter without knowing
what it is you enter

so it is with us

no one knows what may happen
though the books tell everything

burn the texts said Artaud

— Adrienne Rich

via }

‘We are too unobservant or too self-centred to fathom one another. Anyone who has seen masks at a ball, dancing amicably together, and holding hands without recognizing one another, only to part a moment later, and neither to meet again nor miss one another, can form a conception of the world at large.’

— Luc de Clapiers de Vauvenargues, ‘Reflections and Maxims’

via }

will you open your chest wide open for me?

the devil lived
but never loved
which is lonely
L one only
as are all
self I-s-O-lations

R.Buckminster Fuller

“It is a woman who hides. She believes that she can hide, which is foolishness; nobody can hide anything. And secondly, nobody would present herself naked the way she does. You have to be high to do this. This woman is obviously nice-looking, but she does not realize the effect she has on us. She does not know that she is half naked, and she does not know that she is trying to hide. That is to say, she is totally self-defeating, because she shows herself at the very moment that she thinks she is hiding.” -Louise Bourgeois

E.D.: Is there a philosophy behind your work?

J.T.: I think philosophy is not the right word. If anything, there is more discipline than philosophy behind my work. Philosophy is a rational study and my work is not always so rational. But it is in search of some kind of truth, albeit unattainable. There is certainly a lot of thoughts behind my work. But there is no conclusion, it asks more questions than it answers. Everything That Happens is my most rational work to date, where the ideas were carried out in a somewhat logical way, but I tried to also leave the work open, leaving room for interpretation.

via:egodesign

they say: There is a recipe for a good life:
Do what your heart calls you to do, and do it with all your heart. Then follow your inspiration and your joy in pursuing that calling, and try not to be shy!

i have an idea of who i wish i were, and that obscures my understanding of who i actually am. sometimes i pretend even to

via:note to self

In jealousy there is more self-love than love-François de La Rochefoucauld

Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

some pursue happiness others create it

i hate just looking, i always try to grab-D.H. Mondfleur

yesterday i did one thing that made myself feel happy. i was at the gym shaking my butts in a room packed of peeps. a great fun in a long time!

Leonard: What do you think it will take to make a real, substantive change?

Gehry: Creativity and a will to do it. And a lot of it is common sense.

via:treehugger

"Truth is not a reward for good behaviour, nor a prize for passing some tests. It cannot be brought about. It is the primary, the unborn, the ancient source of all that is. You are eligible because you are. You need not merit truth. It is your own. Just stop running away by running after. Stand still, be quiet."

"A quiet mind is all you need. All else will happen rightly, once your mind is quiet. As the sun on rising makes the world active, so does self-awareness affect changes in the mind. In the light of calm and steady self-awareness inner energies wake up and work miracles without effort on your part."

"When you demand nothing of the world, nor of God, when you want nothing, seek nothing, expect nothing, then the Supreme State will come to you uninvited and unexpected."

"The Real Does Not Die, The Unreal Never Lived"

- Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

"Truth is not a reward for good behaviour, nor a prize for passing some tests. It cannot be brought about. It is the primary, the unborn, the ancient source of all that is. You are eligible because you are. You need not merit truth. It is your own. Just stop running away by running after. Stand still, be quiet."

"A quiet mind is all you need. All else will happen rightly, once your mind is quiet. As the sun on rising makes the world active, so does self-awareness affect changes in the mind. In... (read more)

Even “lovers,” he advises, “should guard their strangeness” (CW3: 82) –R. W. Emerson
but to live happy i must be contented with obscurity
-girl_onthe_les

"My Body Is A Cage"

My body is a cage that keeps me
From dancing with the one I love
But my mind holds the key

My body is a cage that keeps me
From dancing with the one I love
But my mind holds the key

I'm standing on a stage
Of fear and self-doubt
It's a hollow play
But they'll clap anyway

My body is a cage that keeps me
From dancing with the one I love
But my mind holds the key

You're standing next to me
My mind holds the key

I'm living in an age
That calls darkness light
Though my language is dead
Still the shapes fill my head

I'm living in an age
Whose name I don't know
Though the fear keeps me moving
Still my heart beats so slow

My body is a cage that keeps me
From dancing with the one I love
But my mind holds the key

You're standing next to me
My mind holds the key
My body is a

My body is a cage
We take what we're given
Just because you've forgotten
That don't mean you're forgiven

I'm living in an age
That screams my name at night
But when I get to the doorway
There's no one in sight

My body is a cage that keeps me
From dancing with the one I love
But my mind holds the key

You're standing next to me
My mind holds the key

Set my spirit free
Set my spirit free
Set my body free
-The Arcade Fire

i am thinking of you
you are walking in your street, its wintertime, you've turned up your foxfur collar, you are smiling and remote {species of spaces/georges perec}

Perec - Practical Exercises

Observe the street, from time to time, with some concern for system perhaps.
Apply yourself. Take your Time.
Note down the place: the terrace of a cafe near the junction of the Rue de Bac and the Boulevard Saint Germain
the time: seven o' clock in the evening
the date: 15 May 1973
the weather: set fair
Note down what you can see. Anything worthy of note going on. Do you know how to see what's worthy of note? Is there anything that strikes you?
Nothing strikes you. You don't know how to see.

You must set about it more slowly, almost stupidly. Force yourself to write down what is of no interest, what is most obvious, most common, most colourless.

Georges Perec, Species of Spaces, 1997:50

how do we know Jesus was Jewish?
.he was thirty, unmarried, and still living with his mother
.he went into his father's business
.he thought his mother was a virgin
.and his mother though the was God
{}

"

-continued to live-that is, repeat a habit formed to get necessaries

-cautiously unfolds, emerges what i am -best society 

days-

what are days for?

days are where we live.

they come, they wake us

time and time over.

they are to be happy in:

where can we live but days?

ah, solving that question

brings the priest and the doctor

in their long coats

running over the fields "

to put one brick upon another,

add a third and then a fourth,

leaves no time to wonder whether

what you do has any worth.

but to sit with bricks around you

while the winds of heaven bawl

weighing what you should or can do

leaves no doubt of it at all

{Pphilip}

born yesterday-

tightly folded bud, 

i have wished you something

none of the usual stuff

about being beautiful 

or running off a spring

of innocence and love

they will all wish you that

and should it prove possible 

well you are a lucky girl. 

but if it shouldn't, then

'may you be ordinary; 

have like other women, 

an average of talents:

not ugly, not good looking

nothing uncustomary 

to pull you off your balance,

that, unworkable itself,

stops all the rest from working.

in fact, may you be dull

if that is what a skilled, 

vigilant, flexible,

unemphasised, enthralled

catching of happiness is called.

{20 January 1954 TLD}

The world is waiting to be known; Earth, what it has in it!

The past is in it;

All words, feelings, movements, words, bodies, clothes, girls,

trees, stones, things of beauty, books, desires are in it;

and all are to be known;

Afternoons have to do with the whole world;

And the beauty of mind, feeling knowingly the world!

{Hot Afternoons Have Been in Montana}

“[The] scaling of undefined space to human proportions may be achieved by a line drawn on a road, a floor, a wall, a covering surface, a combination of vertical and horizontal planes, curved or flat, transparent or massive. It is never a partitioning or closing off, but always a defining element of what is here and there, above and below, between and around (Woodworks)." {Gerrit Rietveld}
"All beauty is a making one of opposites, and the making one of opposites is what we are going after in ourselves (Eli Siegel)."

"I prefer drawing to talking. Drawing is faster, and leaves less room for lies."
- Le Corbusier
"Simplicity is about subtracting the obvious, and adding the meaningful."
-John Maeda

what music will you play for me when we meet?

hate waking up in the middle of night

the wall at night is icy cold
don't blow the candles out just yet
will you